The Intestinal Fortitude News Feed

Fall To June ‘Self Titled’ Album Review by Vincent Daemon

Fall To June

FALL TO JUNE FALL TO JUNE Label: Distributed via MRI Release Date: April 21, 2015

 

FALL TO JUNE is: Nate Yant – Drums Dan Mickler – Guitar Ben Badger – Vocals Jeremy Marshall – Bass Jasin Todd – Touring Guitar

 

 

Remember the film THIS IS SPINAL TAP? Remember when SPINAL TAP is being interviewed and being given various review snippets, followed by the infamous “two word review” for their album “Shark Sandwich”?

It was “SHIT SANDWICH,” that two word review *(and maybe one of the funniest parts of the film, if not film history – – – but I digress). Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest) even exclaimed in disbelief  “They can’t print that!”

Well, I can, and am, about this. THIS album right here is the infamous “SHIT SANDWICH” review, essentially. Completely unoriginal, overdone, radio/family friendly, autotuned to shit, riffs we’ve been tolerating since Post-Grunge/Nu Rock. It is completely, wholly interchangeable with any number of other bands: Shinedown, Fuel, Nickelback, Creed, Alter Bridge, Breaking Benjamin – – – I could go on, but you get the idea, I’m sure.

This is SOYLENT ROCK, nothing but a cash-in, mainstream radio rock *(filled with what I detect are definite Xtian Rockisms) mashed up and fed to the braindead masses. Kinda like tainted cow-feed.

But I’ll let the hideously moronic *(and quite desperate sounding) Press Release that came with this door-delivered turd on a roll speak for itself.

Some shitheel from FUEL (Brad Stewart) had this to say about FALL TO JUNE: “When I first heard FALL TO JUNE, it gave me hope that real rock n’ roll still exists in this world . . . The performances on the record are tasteful with a variety of influences ranging from swampy down home Southern rock and soul to high intensity super rock. FALL TO JUNE is the shot in the ass that the rock world needs right now.”

Funny, that whole “gave me hope that real rock’n’roll still exists in this world” comment couldn’t be further from the truth. Honestly, it was CANCERSLUG who GAVE ME that hope, and I’ve yet to be disappointed by them, going strong for an awful long time now. This here, this NU-ROCK or whatever is just more of the same drivel. I call it contractor rock as this is inadvertently what you get stuck listening to while tarring a searing West Philly rooftop in mid-summer *(Fukk, this album is so bad it’s giving me PTSD flashbacks to old shitty jobs where I’d’ve had no choice but to hear garbage of this kind all day – – – that was a good ten years ago). It’s like music has not progressed one iota since the mid-late 90’s, aside from a random and unexpected surprise here and there. Often not good ones.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Here’s the list of scatsuckers *(and what brilliance they had to say) in order to promote the band to me before I knew ANYTHING of them, before the PR even SPOKE of the band. *(A classic marketing mind-fukk, by the way – – – they make sure you see that name a minimum of seven times before even getting to anything about the band – – – seven, in hypno-marketing, being the magic number to stick something in someones head):

FALL TO JUNE is bringing back that old school sound combining the right ingredients. It has the badass rock element, the southern swampy twang, and great songs with lots of dynamic grooves. Well done brothers!”

– Kenny Olson (Kid Rock)

FALL TO JUNE brings an interesting blend of musicianship…This is just what my southern roots were looking for!”

– Brian Marshall (Alter Bridge, Creed)

FALL TO JUNE show the passion and drive that rock fans so desperately need in their rockstars. It was an honor and a privilege to collaborate with them on a couple of songs.”

– Brett Scallions (FUEL)

FALL TO JUNE is the shot in the ass that rock music needs right now. When Ben sings, I believe him.”

– Brad Stewart (Shinedown, FUEL)

FALL TO JUNE is one of my favorite new bands. They combine great songwriting and pure raw energy! Their songs are radio friendly and their live show is killer! Look out for these guys!”

– Shannon Boone (Puddle of Mudd)

That’s a lot of ass-kissing.

So no one from this corn-studded clump of aural agony has anything to say about their own fukking band? *(Or perhaps wants to take responsibility for this bound-for-the-Abyss turd?)

Oh, wait. Someone does *(sort of). Touring musician *(does that mean actual member of the band? I don’t know, nor care) Jasin Todd offers, “I believe it was around the middle of February last year when delivery of a hand written, wax sealed envelope arrived by carrier. This was a strange and rather unnerving way to receive word on anything, as most prefer the route of email as of late. Cracking the crimson seal stamped by the familiar insignia of BA (Ballistic Audio), it soon became apparent to me that Brad Stewart was in need of my services yet again. There are few I hold in such high regards, so without a thought, I offered my specialties to FALL TO JUNE. Now, here we are with a new album to be released this spring!”

Below you will find my RE-IMAGININGS of how all these mouthy anuses above SHOULD have worded their (most likely paid for) comments. I’ve highlighted my “satirical” changes so as to avoid any legal harassment toward a 10% below poverty level writer. “Rockstars” do shit like that.

FALL TO JUNE is bringing back more rehashed garbage, combining the right ingredients, canned salmon, offal, and blatant theft of an already horrid sound. It has NO badass rock element, a hokey occasional  southern swampy twang, and boring-assed songs. Well done brothers!”

– Kenny Olson (Kid Rock)

FALL TO JUNE brings an incongruous blend of standard musicianship…This is just what my southern roots were NOT looking for!”

– Brian Marshall (Alter Bridge, Creed)

FALL TO JUNE show less passion and drive than rock fans deserve, yet so desperately need in their rockstars. It was a horror and physically painful to collaborate with them on a couple of songs.”

– Brett Scallions (FUEL)

FALL TO JUNE is the shot in the ass that rock music needs right now – – – hopefully they will abscess and die.  When Ben sings, I don’t believe a fucking word.”

– Brad Stewart (Shinedown, FUEL)

FALL TO JUNE is one of my least favorite new bands. They combine standard shit songwriting and pure boredom. Their songs are radio friendly and their live show is bland. Avoid these guys!”

– Shannon Boone (Puddle of Mudd)

Shit Sandwich.

FALL TO JUNE can confirm that the tour will begin in Jacksonville, FL on April 4th at 1904 Music Hall. In addition, the band has confirmed dates on April 10th at Cedar Point Tavern in Cedar Point, NC, as well as on April 11th in Dickson, TN at The Wanted Saloon II.

The band plans to confirm a full Midwest and Southern U.S. tour around these dates, making stops in Missouri, Nebraska, Iowa, Texas, and more. Stay tuned for updates.

Follow FALL TO JUNE:

Official Website: www.falltojune.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FalltoJune

Twitter: @falltojunemusic, @falltojune

Vincent Daemon, writer and rabblerouser, can be followed on FB @https://www.facebook.com/vincent.daemon.1 , and join his blog The Writings Of A Depraved Mind @http://vincentdaemon.blogspot.com/?zx=e40931ba40511a11 

 

Advertisements
About vincentdaemon (109 Articles)
Writer of the weird and macabre; columnist for The Intestinal Fortitude; film and music critic and historian/buff; musician; visual artist; photographer; bibliophile/book collector; student of the bizarre, the occult, cryptozoology (and related topics); liver of life and the necessity of experience; loather of ignorance; seeker of knowledge; believer that we need to work together to achieve our common goals.

1 Trackback / Pingback

  1. AndroidVirus and Sean Show #62 – Miracles, Creepy Stories, and Bigfoot the attempted Murderer! | THE INTESTINAL FORTITUDE

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: